Richard G. Epstein

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Self-Mastery Attained by

Overcoming Demons of the Past

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Special to the Sentinel-Observer

by

Richard Elkins

Human Features Reporter

I didn't know what to expect when I visited the international headquarters of CompuHeal, one of the leading companies on the cutting edge of developing computer systems that heal the mind and the soul. CompuHeal has been featured in both Business Week and the Wall Street Journal as one of the world's most exciting software companies. My experience at CompuHeal certainly is consistent with the enthusiasm of investors who have caused CompuHeal's stock to rise over 350% in just one year.

I first heard about UnDo, CompuHeal's program that allows one to relive childhood traumas from a friend. She told me about Dr. Margaret Wertzel who developed UnDo with the help of a team of enthusiastic programmers.

Dr. Wertzel welcomed me into her office with great warmth. I asked her to explain UnDo for our readers.

"Undo uses virtual reality technology to allow a patient who has undergone some trauma to relive the experience so as to undo the damage that has been done. Undo is especially effective if the experience involved some ineffectual action on the part of the patient. In other words, the patient is wounded because he or she did not react to the traumatic event in a heroic fashion."

Dr. Wertzel explained that each person wants to feel like a hero within his or her own domain. "If we cannot experience the joy of being a hero, our lives are shallow. Sometimes, a childhood experience can convince us that we are not heroic material. We might have backed down in a significant confrontation. We spend the rest of our lives regretting the past, thinking we can never relive the past and can never attain to hero status. This is poisonous thinking. This is what I call the 'toxic waste dump' of the psyche. Undo helps the patient to clean up their toxic wastes."

I was intrigued, but I felt strangely at a lost for words. I had written down some questions to ask in preparation for the interview, but none seemed appropriate.

Dr. Wertzel, being a good person to interview in such circumstances, picked up the slack. "Undo depends not only on virtual reality technology, but on a new authoring technology that was developed right here at CompuHeal. Our new authoring technology allows virtual realities to be constructed from natural language descriptions. Can I show you how this new authoring technology works?"

Dr. Wertzel placed me in a virtual reality chamber, an empty and featureless room. I stood in the middle of the chamber in my virtual reality suit, including goggles and all the rest as you all well know. Dr. Wertzel asked me to describe a place that I have visited.

I remembered a recent trip to Washington, DC, so I mentioned Washington, DC. She asked me to be more specific. I mentioned the Lincoln Memorial and before you could say "Gettysburg Address" there I was, standing in front of that imposing statue of Lincoln at the Lincoln Memorial.

"This is great!" I shouted.

"That's what the new authoring technology entails. Since our programs can build virtual environments from natural language descriptions, we can develop the virtual environments with incredible speed. This is critical for the Undo program. We believe that it represents the future of authoring technologies for virtual reality systems."

I was about to head out of the virtual reality chamber when Dr. Wertzel asked me a question, which I heard through the headset. She was speaking to me from another room.

"Mr. Elkins, did you ever fail to live up to your own heroic ideal? Did you ever have a childhood experience that shattered your belief in your own heroic self?"

A shiver ran down my spine for indeed I had gone through such an experience. Now I was going to be given the opportunity to relive that experience and to redeem myself.

"Dr. Wertzel. Are you going to allow me to redeem myself by standing up to Albert Spunger, the neighborhood Nazi?"

"Yes! Now all you have to do is to describe the trauma in as much detail as you can. You will not see immediate feedback during the data collection phase, but when your are done, our virtual reality authoring technology will place you back in that situation, based upon your description. Furthermore, we draw upon the awesome information resources of the Global Landscape to fill in many of the details, which helps to give our virtual realities the feel of authenticity. Once we recreate the traumatic situation for you, you will be given an opportunity to confront this demon from your past and redeem your heroic self."

She told me that Undo has access to all of the visual image databases out there on the Global Landscape. "Of course it was easy to dredge up the Lincoln Memorial, but chances are if you tell us where the traumatic event occurred, we have some images out there that we can use to reconstruct a facsimile of that original childhood environment."

I spent the next thirty minutes describing the trauma, the old neighborhood and Albert Spunger, the neighborhood Nazi. Dr. Wertzel explained that it was important to describe Albert Spunger in as much detail as possible. I also described my reaction to the traumatic experience and why I felt that I had not lived up to my own heroic ideal. Finally, Dr. Wertzel asked me if I was ready to relive the trauma. I said, "Yes!" and the next thing I knew -

There I was, back in my old neighborhood in Newark, New Jersey. Yes, that's Abel's, the corner candy store that I had mentioned. How did they ever find a picture of Abel's over the Global Landscape, and there, holy cow, there's Albert Spunger. He looks like a reconstruction from an actual photograph that must be out there in the Global Landscape, perhaps a driver's license or a mug shot. Albert Spunger! The kids used to call him the Nazi: the meanest, rottenest, toughest twelve year old punk in Newark. It's just not natural for a twelve year old kid to be covered with tattoos. He was heading right for me.

"How's school, book worm?" Albert Spunger asked with a sneer. His face was just inches from mine and I could see the hungry meanness in his face.

The next thing I knew he pushed me to the ground and jumped on top of me. He was sitting on my chest throwing dirt in my face, yelling "Book worm! Book worm! Sissy book worm!"

This is where I failed over forty years ago. This is where I started to cry for my closest living relative at that time, who just happened to be my mother.

"Little Ritchie is crying for his mommy!" Albert Spunger sneered, his sickening spittle splashing on my face. "Listen to Little Ritchie crying for his mommy!"

I was paralyzed with fear. Then I heard the voice of Dr. Wertzel, my therapist, yelling, "Do something!"

So, I did something. I punched the Nazi right in his face with all of the strength that I could muster and much to my surprise he did not murder me in cold blood. Instead, he started to cry for his mother, Frau Feuher, as we used to call her in the old neighborhood, so I got up off my back and punched Albert Spunger right in the jaw.

"Good! Good!" I heard Dr. Wertzel shouting in the background.

Then I let loose a stream of obscenities, more like those of a forty-five year old journalist than of a twelve year old book worm. "And don't you ever call me a book worm or a sissy ever again or I'll cream you!"

When it was all over I had this great feeling of exhilaration.

"It's liberating, isn't it?" Dr. Wertzel asked me when I rejoined her in her office.

"That was great!" I replied.

"You've recaptured the hero within, the one who went into hiding when you let Albert Spunger beat you up like that. You've been redeemed."

I couldn't thank Dr. Wertzel enough for developing this wonderful new technology.

Dr. Wertzel was philosophical about it. "You have to feel sorry for the previous generations who didn't have access to tools like virtual reality. I mean all they could do was tell their therapist about past traumas. What else could the therapist possibly do but sit there and look at his watch? But now, with this new technology, the therapist can allow you to relive the past and to reclaim it, to reclaim the heroic part of yourself."